...and I've already tried all that
I'm gonna let him fly
Just another entry about my broken heart. I don't even know why I bother... with writing about it, with thinking about, with putting myself through it.
I told myself when I moved the first time that if only I had stayed in Georgia, the guy I was dating in Georgia and I would still be together. I now know, of course, that this wasn't true. It was a silly romantic thought, because I am a romantic. There are a million reasons why it wouldn't have worked, and that is obvious only in hindsight, unfortunately.
The second time I was getting ready to move to Boston I came as close to falling in love as I've been since my first boyfriend. Or so I thought... and so did he? What did he think? The miles have blurred everything about our short time together. Does he think of me now? Wish I was there? What would it be like if I was there?
I was sure when I left the second time, that if only I stayed in Georgia I would wind up with the guy I was dating. Only this time was different than the first... I thought I might wind up with him anyway, regardless of the miles, of the heartache.. because it just seemed that real, at the time. Do I know anything?
I just wish I could talk to him. But when someone 1000 miles away doesn't want to talk to you, it is remarkably easy for them to do so.
I know that my sister is probably the only one that still reads this (I'm trying to make it a little less cryptic for you, Jen) but it hardly matters. I just need to say it, as usual.
And as usual, I'm hoping he'll read it, and it will make him want to talk to me, or at least he will know that I want to talk to him.
1:30 AM is too late to be writing on such matters.