let's just get naked
just for a laugh
let's just get naked
it's a trip and a half
-joan osborne
So, instead of going to one of the wild music festivals this weekend (bonaroo or music midtown), I opted to take dad on a nice, tame, early Father's Day outing to our third Eddie's Attic Semi-Annual Open Mic Shootout. At an indoor acoustic music contest (in a room that holds about 200 people, max, with the majority being over 30 years old) you don't really expect to see people get naked. Well, apparently, Saturday night was a first for the venue...
So there was a raffle to give away two Gibson guitar starter kits. The first name gets drawn out of the hat, no problem. But as my dear friend and host Todd (Jennifer Nettle's husband, now the owner of Eddie's Attic) gets drunker, he continues on with a joke that if anyone wants to get naked, he will simply give them the second guitar.
Seeing as how people had already been drinking for a good three hours when he made this announcement, it was probably never a good idea.
But Todd kept on. There was a lot of chatter in the room, so at first no one really noticed as the overweight pale white guy removed his shirt. This is about the point when I looked over. He was seated all the way at the left in about the middle of the room, and (thank the lord) Dad and I were in the very back, so he was in front of us. I see that he's taking Todd up on his offer and thinking, "oh silly guy, threatening Todd," when I see him pull down his pants. And now I'm looking, thinking that I see boxers, but no. It's just his bare ass.
Next thing I know the room is finally starting to notice what is happening, and he reaches down and performs some sort of vulgar gesture. Todd says, "alright, give that man his guitar!" and the guy cheers, pulls his pants back up, and clings his new guitar when it finally reaches him.
I'm just glad that the 9 year old that had been sitting near by left a few minutes earlier.
So the next time you think you'll skip Music Midtown to avoid the drunken decisions that people make, remember the moral of my story: some people will get naked anywhere if a free guitar is involved. And they don't even have to be pretty.