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August 31, 2004

vague memories of john

Current Music: Turn Around - DRH

I saw john mayer live for the first time a little under two years ago and again this past sunday.

Same place. Same stage. Several of the same songs.

But I am not the same.

As I watched john on sunday, I reflected on the vibrant thoughts and emotions that were running through my head the first time I saw him; when I stood in the center of the ampitheater instead of to the left and was a little bit closer to the stage.

I am not the same.

There was something in that girl I remember that I don't have now. She held the complete bliss of ignorance that I don't think you can ever get back. She knew how the world was meant to be.

Where is she now?

College is so busy and full of life and people it is almost impossibly lonely. Too many options may very quickly lead to no options at all. So many friends means there isn't one you can call your own. But maybe now is the perfect time to write journals sitting alone in the dining hall rather than taking comfort in your high school friends sitting a few yards away. Maybe it's better like this.

I watched john, and I danced and smiled and sang along. I looked to my right and remembered the girl that stood there. One of the best moments of her life.

I am not the same. And I am happy.

August 17, 2004

friends of hackers@uga.edu

Current Music: (My new roomie's spectacular choice) Bohemian Rhapsody - Queen

Okay, so I'm all settled in my room, and it's great. My roommate. Is. Awesome. She's funny and totally laid back and I couldn't have asked for more. I've been kinda busy with work and getting settled, but I've managed to meet a few people. I must tell the story of meeting one of these people now.

If you are like me, you will be amazed.

So, I'm walking back from Josh's room on the second floor in Creswell (my dorm! :)) and I stop by a these random guys' room with the door open to say hi (because that is what you do here). I meet Perry and his roomie, and they asked me where I'm from. When I said Winder, this is what followed:

Perry: "Oh, so Winder, huh? You know, a few years ago, me and my friend were listening to 99X in the morning... they had this segment where people could come in and play their songs and this girl came on and played, and she was from Winder..." at this point I'm very intrigued, because I'm like, "wow, he's probably talking about me..." I asked him if he remembered her name... and he said "no, I don't, but she had an e-mail address that was something at hotmail, so my friend thought it would be funny to go into her account and like change her password and stuff..."

Me: "OH. MY. GOSH!!!"

Perry: "What, do you know her?"

Me: "THAT'S ME!! I'M HER! I'M SARAH TOLLERSON! OH MY GOSH!"

We went on to relive together the stuff that his friend did to my account... change my password a few times, send people in my address book nasty e-mails, change the freaking language of the site so I couldn't navigate it, basically make my e-mail world a living nightmare. I think he even sent me a few letters taunting me about how he was my amazing hacker. The trick wasn't that hard, but I don't want to give anyone any ideas.

But anyway... by some freak coincidence, being at the right place at the right time, and this guy's good memory, I finally found out who the guy who harrassed me was!! Perry said he could call him, Justin, up and I could talk to him, so he did, and I did. Justin was very unresponsive and not very excited to hear from the girl who was way nice about something that was very annoying a few years ago... so that was a bummer. But Perry and his roomie (who's name I don't remember, even though I tried... really!) were super nice and let me dance around their room in complete amazement that I finally found my hacker by complete chance.

I mean, what are the odds, really? Really?? Geez!

August 14, 2004

archiving high school in a BIG OL' nutshell

Current Music: New Shoes - Mike Willis

I've been thinking about this concept quite a lot for the past few days.

Recently I sat down with a hot new friend of mine and asked him to tell me his life, in a nutshell. So, he did. Then I told him mine. It was amazing what could be learned about another person in a few short minutes.

With just thirty something hours before I move to Athens, I thought that, well, I needed an entry. This is a big time in my life. I should have something to say. While I can't come up with any big reflective piece about how my life will change, how I want to embrace the world, or how I'm scared about the bus systems, I can come up with my life, in a nutshell. Except I'm going to start with high school, because I think that's when life really started anyway. I'll let you take that as a warning...

End of 8th grade: Met Courtney Lorraine Brakhage, and my life was changed forever. Started walking home from school with her and laughing about everything. Played my first performance with my guitar with Courtney and Mr. Alex King at the school talent show.

Freshman year and the summer: Started the first FUZZY BOOK. Met boy, M, who would be my love interest for a good year and a half of high school. Soon after, found out a senior had a crush on me. Received first (Very. Bad.) kiss from Mr. Senior. Dated senior for three weeks and a day when I was broken up with in a note. (I remember when I read the note I grinned ear to ear and ran to show my friend. I guess I didn't like him as much as I should have.) Got learners permit. Started hanging out with Emma again. Convinced Courtney to start dating Eric. Made a habit of walking to Courtney's house to visit her, where her brother who made a habit of hitting on me. Wrote first song. Performed at school talent show with great response. Dated Jeremy Dooley for a grand total of three and half days. Still crushed hard on M. Played a summer gig at Humble Grounds, where I made my first guitar-playing cash...five one dollar bills that I still have to this day. Visited SoCal for the first time where I met Jason Lopez, Mac McIntire, and Lawrence Mahadoo, who have remained my cross country friends for three years, and taught me just how strong of a bond you can form in three days. Parents made the decision to open 106 West. Came home and wrote "Freaks Like Me".

Sophomore year and the summer: Was woken up very early on one of the first days of school by my sister who told me to call into 99x for "Your Big Break", was invited in, couldn't get there soon enough, but was told to "keep in touch". Got license. Still loved M. Made a habit of picking up Emma and Courtney and driving around Winder. A lot. Participated in several "Painting Parties" (sounds so Tom Sawyer-esk) to prepare for the opening of 106 West. OPENED 106 WEST. Played first gig there. Met bounds of people, soon to be "106ers" and "dated" a good handful of them. Played on 99X. Gained strange popularity from this. M finally asked me out, but by this time, I realized No was the right answer. Met Shawn Regan, and once again, my life was changed forever. Played "This Old Jacket" at school talent show and won first place. Fell in love for the first time. Wrote lots of songs (lots being the rest I've written to date... five).

(For those of you keeping up, my online journal started somewhere right about here.)

Junior year and the summer: Walked wrapped in clouds for months on end. Played Eddie's Attic open mic for the first time and made the finals (haven't done that since). Attended first Catholic mass (that had people painted green in it...) and learned about Catholicism. Became part of another family. Rediscovered my faith. Gained writer's block. Gained driving priviledges. Made first demo.

Senior year and the summer: Heart was broken. Almost all year. Swore I wouldn't go to UGA. Ran cross country, which kept me distracted and put me in the best shape of my life. You know, I ran twelve miles once...muwahahaha. Got really close to Javan for the first time in our seven years of friendship. Turned 18. Started getting airplay on 97.7, the "Almost Famous" show. Had classes with Courtney again! Pulled off a B in trig and an A in chemistry. Made perfect score at all state chorus audition. Made the tradional Tollerson SAT score. Applied for UGA as a "back-up". Realized UGA was the best and maybe the only choice, prayed to get accepted. Got accepted. Way pumped. Applied for housing that day. Auditioned for the school of music and was admitted conditionally. Wrote class song with Courtney. Graduated, finally. Got over it. Took senior trip to California to see my old buddies, Jason, Lawrence, and Mac again. Went running there - tripped - cut right knee up in a pretty gnarly fashion - Mr. Mac McIntire came to my rescue Baywatch style, drove me to the hospital, sat with me in the emergency room for FIVE hours, and let me squeeze his arm during the four stitches. Came home. Got a job. Worked. Didn't have much of a social life. Wrote longest yearbook entry ever to Courtney. Started packing for college.

Wow, which brings us... here.

If you've made it this far, I'm very proud of you. It may be boring, but hey, at least it's written down for me to always remember, and there is a big story behind every little sentence there. If you've made it this far, you may actually know more about me than you did before. Thrilling, isn't it?

What I've gained: the knowledge that you'll mostly likely regret your hugest crushes, performing experience, fans, high school best friend memories, nine songs, writer's block, greater relationship with God, an extra family, knowing that there is no right way to fall in or out of love, a stronger body, stronger heart, and a California scar. All thanks to this last chapter in my life. And this was just the beginning...

Thanks for reading. This nutshell was even bigger than I thought. But I mean, hey, it is after 4 AM. The next entry I write I'll be a college girl...